Cover that breast up!
"I breastfeed in public, but I am respectful of others, I use a blanket or cover", I've often heard mothers say this, and this statement has always irritated me. It implies nursing mothers who don't use a blanket or cover in public are disrespectful of others, and it has a tendency to make mothers feel ashamed of breastfeeding in general.
Breastfeeding, no matter what species, is natural, functional and healthy; breasts are there to provide vital nutrition to the infant. It's basic biology, there is no mystery about it, so why should the sight of a nursing breast be so controversial?
It's apparent to me that breasts are extremely sexualized in our culture. I'd go as far to say they are fetishized, not to mention utterly exploited for marketing purposes. The unfortunate result for women has been the disempowerment of the use of their own breasts, to the point they feel ashamed of having to use their breasts to feed their child in public, because they don't want to appear sexually suggestive. At least this is how I feel as a mother having been raised in this culture.
It seems logical that the driving force behind the sexualization of breasts may be the fact that breasts are almost always hidden. The more hidden or mysterious something is, the more desirable it becomes, and the more scandalous it's considered when exposed. For example there was a time when the sight of a woman's ankles was exciting for men. Exacerbating the problem is that breasts are usually only ever seen during sexual encounters, further cementing their role in our society as only sexual.
On the other end of the scale, in some tribal cultures the sight of a breastfeeding mother with breasts fully exposed is common place and hence not arousing to men. In these tribes breasts are deemed primarily as feeding tools, not for sexual arousal. There's no sensationalism, just rational common sense. In an article I read about these women, they were laughing at the thought of Western men obsessed with breasts, exclaiming, "you mean to say they act like babies!?"
 |
| Pygmy Mother Nursing |
So to the person saying I should use a blanket to cover when I breastfeed in order to be 'respectful', I say NO, breastfeeding is not something scandalous, to be hidden or embarrassed about. By covering I would be perpetuating the fetishization of breasts in our culture which disempowers women and deters them from breastfeeding. I refuse to be a part of that negative cycle.
If you're a breastfeeding mother, I implore you, don't hide away when you nurse! Be a part of the solution and help normalize breastfeeding by nursing in public. By doing so you not only help make breastfeeding normal, you give other mothers the courage to also breastfeed in public. And if you do see a breastfeeding mother, please, tell her she's doing an amazing job!
13 comments
Breastfeeding is a natural, beautiful thing, I don't think breasts are dirty, I've never felt ashamed to use my breasts to feed my babies, I'm comfortable with my body and my sexuality, but I think discretion is good. We live in a culture where boobs are covered up in public so of course people aren't going to feel comfortable with them being exposed.
ReplyDeleteThere is a time and a place for breast exposure - and if breastfeeding's not it, I don't know what is. I don't believe mothers should feel they have to cover their breasts when nursing. Having to have discretion while breastfeeding implies it is something to be ashamed or embarrassed of, or that it simply should not be done in public. And breastfeeding is most definately not something to be ashamed of, nor the breast where it came from.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately many people do view the sight of a breast in public as 'dirty'. If we are to make breastfeeding commonplace this attitude needs to change. Often when people see women breastfeeding they simply can't get past the sexual association, because breasts are only ever bared to them in sexual situations.
We need to make mothers feel confident and comfortable breastfeeding. In order to encourage mothers to breastfeed, and continue to longer - the result being much healthier babies. Breastfeeding is in no way sexual and mothers should not be made to feel that it is.
Personally I think the best way to make mothers more comfortable with breastfeeding is by breastfeeding!
ReplyDeleteI wish that there were a quick fix, and that I could make all of my friends and fellow women in my town comfortable instantly with the idea by using logic. You are right, breasts are for breastfeeding it makes sense. You have a baby...you make milk for the baby...you feed the baby the milk. I don't see why this is such an obstacle for people.
We grew up in a society that has lost this simple truth! The more children I have had, the more I've breastfed in public, and the more comments and glares I've gotten. But you know what else....I've gotten much more comfortable with breastfeeding in public. And my friends have gotten much more comfortable with the idea that if they invite me over I might take my top off.
I think the best we can do is continue to breastfeed, talk, blog, and raise our kids with these values. My hope is that when my daughter grows up, (if she decides to have children) breastfeeding will be commonplace. And even if it's not, that she will have the confidence and sass that I have instilled in her to politely tell people who are squeamish that they are free to leave the room, or put a blanket over their own heads....
That was super long. Sorry, I get kind of worked up about the subject. :)
Mama, you have an awesome attitude to breastfeeding. Though I agree breasting feeding in public is the best way to promote it, I would be so happy to see ad campaigns to promote breastfeeding - everywhere! Atleast life size posters around us would make us nursings mums feel a little less ostracized and get the public a little more used to the idea. I absolutely hate the thought of nursing mothers feeling ostracized, embarrassed or alone - it's just not right.
ReplyDeleteI found you on MBC and am excited to read your great info! I look forward to seeing where your blog heads! :)
ReplyDeleteCome on over for a visit! www.melonbelly.blogspot.com
Cherie! I so agree! It just isn't right that some women would feel that way. Posters, commercials, and less endorsement of bottle feeding and formula being "normal". I would even love to see it on a T.V. show or two. They used to mention it on sesame street. I wonder if writing one or two shows might be beneficial?
ReplyDeleteMelonbelly, thanks I'll definatly check you out! So glad you agree.
ReplyDeleteMama, absolutely - no formula ads, teaching the biology of breastfeeding in schools, tv shows and educating mothers...the list is endless if only those in high places would get their butts moving to help and support mamas and babes!
Thanks for your input lovely ladies :)
Cherie,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. When I had my son 14 years ago I was made to feel as if I was doing a really dirty thing. At the end of the day I decided that his well being came first and when I needed to feed him I did, and continued to feed him until he was 16 months old. My friend's baby is 3 months old and she feels the same way. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Amanda
http://realityarts-creativity.blogspot.com
Woohoo way to go Amanda!
ReplyDeleteI love hearing from mums who disregard anyone else's snobby opinions and just do what is best for their child. That's what I call a mama!
Thanks for your comment, will check out your blog :)
I hate the attitude that the first comment portrays - the "Breastfeeding is natural and shouldn't be kept private unless I'm in public" attitude. I'm feeding my child. You have a problem? Look away. I definitely think more education and exposure is key.
ReplyDeleteI am a breast feeding my 24 month old and because of our lifestyle I feed her in public every day. From the start she would not be covered up so I quickly got used to feeding in public. I am completely relaxed with it, but occasionally I come up against someone else's attitude. Usually it is a look or a muttered comment. Not many people actually get in your face. But I have overheard someone recently saying that it made them feel sick. I would love to instigate a conversation with these people, but as my daughter is usually sleeping or in the process of falling asleep, I keep quiet so as to keep her sleeping. I think, as do many other breast feeders, that the more people see breast feeding the more normal it becomes, so I will continue to do what I do, despite the odd negative attitude.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you had to hear someone say such a rude comment to you - ofcourse we can rationalize it say they're just uneducated and inexperienced, but it's a reflection a certain percentage of the public that feel this way. It means breastfeeding mothers are at risk of discrimination, and this is a substantial reason mothers are put off by the thought of public breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in general.
Obviously not me or you though! I value my children's wellbeing over ANYONES prudish opinion, and I value my RIGHT to feed my child as nature intended. Laws and public opinion are slowly changing however - just not fast enough.
Congratulations for doing your babe such a wonderful service, and thanks for your comment :)
Support me in the fight! Google Kelle Perkins NC breastfeeding mom
ReplyDelete